The Valdosta Conclusion

So.... I did it? (Question mark for emphasis on the fact that we won't get final grades until next week and one of my classes is a little... well... questionable.) But other than the one questionable grade, I am finally done with classes. Maybe forever!

All of my things got safely moved to Augusta this weekend without any major damages. I have never seen at 17 foot moving van so packed with "stuff" in all my life. My dad repeatedly reminded me that I "had more stuff as a graduate student than he and my mother had after five years of marriage." What can I say? I'm a pack rat. And I like my stuff.

I'm so excited to finally spread out for the first time in my life. I have two whole bedrooms, two bathrooms, and an entire downstairs all to myself. But you want to know what my favorite part of it all is? I get an entire refrigerator to myself! Is that weird? But think about it. All my life, I have had to share space in the fridge. Growing up, my family (clearly) shared one fridge and I had to poke around to find what I really wanted to eat. Then, in college, the fridge situation got a little more complicated--because everyone had double or triples of everything. So for the first time in my life, the entire contents of the refrigerator belong to me.

Seriously?

Seriously.

Life's decisions will simply have to be postponed...

In response to the previous post, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. I think a much needed vacation from my hectic life in grad school was a much needed remedy to some "generalized anxiety" problems.

During a weekend with my family, I have come to realize a lot about myself. My parents and brother opened up about a lot of things they had been keeping to themselves for several years. These things, in a way, helped me realize that my plans and dreams are not what defines me--that there is Something much bigger than myself that makes me who I am.

The most important thing for me to do at this point is to focus on what is going on in my life right now. I am moving in two and a half weeks: I can focus on packing and I can focus on getting set up in my new digs. I am starting work in a school system in a month: I can focus on brushing up on the knowledge I will need to work in that capacity. I am taking comprehensive exams and my national certification exam this fall: I can focus on studying and passing.

Further than that? Nothing is pressing. There is nothing that really really needs to be planned out between now and then. Everything else (i.e. if I will pursue another degree next year, what school I will attend, when I will attend it, where I'm going to live two years from now, etc.) is another problem for another time. The problem is trusting that it will get taken care of in time. So thoughts and prayers for that are appreciated.

So I think I am finally going to put all my "plans" aside for a while :)

Seriously?

Seriously.

This just in....

Can grad school give you a neurological condition?

I submit that it can.

Granted, I probably know more than I should (like any good hypochondriac) and the internet certainly tends to glorify medical disorders. You should really try google-ing "causes of anxiety" and see how many results pop up. Or I will save you a trip. 2,670,000. Approximately.

Seriously?

Seriously.

But I'm not done yet. I know enough psychology majors to know that in order to diagnose someone with a problem, you have to look it up in the DSM and qualify for a number of things off a list. I don't really know how it works, but I looked up "General Anxiety Disorder" in the DSM and found out that you need to qualify for three things out of six. I'm pretty sure I have 5. And I'm also pretty sure that grad school gave them to me.

Okay, seriously?

Yes. Seriously.