The Hardest Thing

I'm writing tonight with a heavy heart....

I've had my share of "earth-shattering" moments in my life. I remember being told that my dad had cancer, that my mom had a brain tumor less than two years later, and even breaking up with a guy that I thought was "the one" for me.

But tonight is a different kind of heaviness--one that I haven't ever had to deal with before now.

I took Mattie to an emergency vet appointment tonight because she had another seizure this morning (the second in a week). I had an appointment set up in two weeks but decided that she needed to be checked out sooner than later.

Turns out, Mattie has a brain tumor. She's going to be put to sleep next week. The vet wanted to do it sooner than later because Mattie is at risk for having a seizure so big that she can't get out of it. She will be cremated and they are going to make a little cement plaque with her front paw prints in it so I'll have something to keep of her. (I declined the offer to keep her ashes for an additional $125....)

I've got the weekend to come to terms with all of this. It's a much needed distraction. I had already planned to go home and so it worked out that my family will be able to say their goodbyes. I'm also going to a friend's wedding and one of my very best friends is tagging along as my date, which will be another great way to get my mind off things.

Prayers are appreciated over the next couple of days. I am going to get through this. One step at a time....

Seriously?

Seriously.